Since I became a runner many years ago, I have found myself on cyclic journeys. Each one starts with an obstacle–an unfit body, a lack of knowledge and support, a low self esteem–it might not be apparent but it is always felt. Often I venture out wondering how I’ll ever reach a finish line that is strikingly out of my range of vision, taunting yet beckoning me in the same harrowing breath. Over the hundreds of training miles it takes to turn ambitions into reality, I sometimes feel as if I am moving backwards. Yet with enough time and by placing trust in my training, I find myself gaining bits and pieces of newfound strength. In the midst of each training cycle I may even encounter moments of utter clarity, though these are incredibly brief. The journey only ends when I have reach my self-revelation, and I’ve had several as I’ve grown into the woman I stand as today. Though some revelations have scorched me like lightening and created rifts that have rid rancorous people from my life, I have had other revelations that have left me elated beyond all reason.
9 years ago–I ran to rid a reliance on antidepressants…and it worked!
8 years ago–I ran to distract myself from an increasing toxic life
7 years ago–I ran to cross my first finish line
6 years ago–I ran to find purpose…I didn’t find it…yet
5 years ago–I ran to find a connection, not only with myself but with others
4 years ago–I ran to stay fit for labor and be healthy for my growing baby
3 years ago–I ran not to find my strong but to realize that I always was
2 years ago–I ran to escape a crumbling life
1 year ago–I ran to heal my wounds and to figure out my new normal
After a nasty winter, I have finally come out of hibernation and training for Superior 50 is in glorious full effect. What will this year’s reason be? Whatever it is, I can’t wait to find out.